Surfers paradise

This week we stayed in the heart of Surfers paradise. We used our "credits" in time share that we have, so in fact we payed no cash for the accomadation. 

On the first day, we decided to chill. We had a swim in the pool, which was a beach pool, sand into the entrance of the pool. After getting quiet chilly, we decided the best place to be would be the spa. I got quiet wrinkley in the spa, as I did"nt want to leave the warmth! 

  

Over the next few days, we went to the cinema"s. We went Gold class, where you can lay back in your own chair. The waiters bring what ever you order, throughout the movie. We seen how to train a dragon 2. It was great! The next day, we went to the top of Q1, up to the sky tower lookout. It was breathtakingly beautiful up there. For me it was bitter sweet. Josh contracted on that building. He scheduled all the locks, fire doors, and door furniture on the whole building. We we're suppose to go up together and see the lookout. We would have got in for free, because all the contractors had a life membership, which meant, any day or night they are entitled to go up to the bar, or restaurant, or just even to the lookout. Of course, we never got the chance to do this before Josh died. And, I did"nt dare tell the door man, that took all the tickets, "oh, by the way my first husband worked on this building" it's too difficult to explain. While I was up there, I could see the high rise where Josh and I spent our honeymoon, just over 15 years ago. It was at The Legends Hotel. I got teary. It was a hard moment, I had a little cry to mourn the future that we never got to have.

    

  

We went down after a little while and went straight to Ripleys believe it or not. It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be and the kids loved it! I really enjoyed it too. There is really something for everyone. Interesting facts and figures I could have stayed longer and read everything, but my kids are impatient. 

We went and had lunch at Pancakes in Paradise. The kids really enjoyed lunch, as we sat under a

 balloon, that was meant to be like a hot air balloon. 

The next day we took it easy, we went down to the beach for a swim, and then headed into Australia Fair too see Dawn of the planet of the apes. I was"nt thrilled to see it. But I actually really enjoyed it!

The next day was Friday, my friend was getting married. I really wanted to go to the ceremony, but my family didn't want to go, 2 teenagers, and a 9 year old are really not into weddings,We would'nt leave them by themselves, so Tim could"nt come.I  would have to drive 2.5 hours to Coolum, for a 20 minute ceremony, and then 2.5 hours back. As much as it hurt, I had to give it a miss, as it just was"nt practical.

If I had of been invited to the reception, I would have made different arrangements, I would"nt have missed it. But a 5 hour return trip I was not up too.(I have been suffering migraines again)Instead, my wonderful husband organised for us all to go whale watching.

It was a beautiful day, and we all thoroughly enjoyed it. Taj got sea sick, quiet badly! Poor poppet.

on Saturday,mew enjoyed time in the pool and spa and beach. We all wanted to make the most of the glorious weather! I actually got sun burnt.. Oops, Zee and Gabe came to visit Saturday night. I did"nt get any photo"s doh! We went to Alfresco"s in Surfers.. The food was delicious! I has a carbonara, and Tim and Zee had the gnocchi which was all very very good! The kids all had something different, pizza, spaghetti, chicken fettacinni and gnocchi .. the food was divine! 

Thanks for your company Zee. It was a lovey way to end our holiday!

Feeling stressed

Have you ever felt so stressed that its hard to breathe? I have never had panic attacks, but I am pretty sure I was panicking and struggled to breathe recently. Things have gone wrong this week. Like really wrong, where I thought I could not handle things, I was having negative thoughts, so much so I was thinking dying, and being with Josh would be better off.  Of course this is crazy talk. I have tried to commit suicide twice, not that I tell people about it. But I have. The last time I tried it was very scary, as I could have easily slipped away. I know this is a heavy topic, but I am writing this blog for myself, I have never said these words aloud.
 I over react. I don't mean too. It's me. I have taught myself not to vent, message or ring if someone says or does something against me. This week, I read something (why the hell do I go on facebook for, when I deleted it) and I reacted to it. I thought I was doing the right thing. Nah, not nada! I should not have bothered. Future me, please remember how this feeling feels right now. I have been awake since 12:30 am.  My stomach was doing sumersaults and back flips all at once. I ended up being sick.. I have been lethargic all day, and I am pretty sure I lost a "friend" over what I did. 

In saying how stressed I feel, we have some exciting things happening in our lives right now. I can't wait to share them on my blog, but for now, I need to remain mum! 
Until next time 

Friends

My closet friend Lydia, on my wedding day to Josh.

My friend Naomi, both 8.5 months pregnant with our firstborns.

This week I have been thinking about friends, and friendships. Growing up in Tasmania, I never really had close friends that I continually hung out with. I am not sure why, but down in Tassie, if you did"nt have a massive family, or were born in Tassie, it felt like I never fitted in. 
When I moved to QLD I made friends with lots and lots of people. 
 
My sister in law Charmaine, is not only a sister to me, she is a very close friend as well.

Sometimes I feel sad when I am not included in things. When I lived up the Sunshine Coast, I used to organise a lot of social things. I had the time and money to do this. It made me feel good to organise things, where every body felt comfortable. Looking back, I invested alot of time into these social events as a way of keeping busy. It was a way of dealing with grief. It made me happy. It made others happy. If it meant I did not have to think about being alone, and why I was alone, it was a distraction.
I no longer have time to organise things to do socially. Sometimes I will organise a dinner, for close friends. But I really don't have time to organise things like I used to. Working full time with three children and studying, I feel like I am time poor. I barely have time to just "be" and "chill" let alone worry about others social life, let alone my own! Which just for the record, hardly exists any more. 
This week I have felt sad. I found out about a friends hens weekend, and for one reason or another I was not invited. I had many messages from friends just checking to see if I am ok. I am ok. I did cry. Alot! I did not understand. I was hurt. But, it's not the end of the world. I got over it. What is hard to get over is the amount of support I received! Not that I told people why I was so upset,  it was noted that I was off facebook and lots of people were asking if everything was ok. 
Nobody wants to feel forgotten. That's how I felt last weekend. 
This weekend, I feel better. My husband is home, by my side. I have spent time with my kids. And, my friends that care about me, have text, called or messaged through various means, to make sure I am alright.
Thanks to you all, you know who you are 😘😘😘😘 

Back to Blogging

 I have"nt written a blog for awhile now, and I kind of miss it.
I have had a rough week. On the 15th May it would have been 15 since Josh and I got married. It was a beautiful day with a few clouds in the sky. The girls and I had to be at the hairdressers at 8 am.. Eeeeek! So early. I loved how our hair looked. 

Our lil home.. Week one

Our first week in our Home Away from Home, our caravan, Which will be called "WILLI-WALKERS" as its both names of our family.

We have had no drama's towing or sleeping in the caravan. Actually, today we slept in until after 9 am, never in 12 years of being a parent, have my kids all slept in until 9am.. bliss!

We are currently staying at Charmaine and Tony's house in Tamborine, in the Gold Coast Hinterland. Charmaine is Tim's youngest sister. She is very hospitable, and lots of fun! We get on like sisters, and often tease Tim..its so much fun!
CHarmy and Tony have 2 girls, Tori & Shania.. they are just beautiful, I love spending time with them!

For the record, my nieces will proberly not be happy with these unflattering photo's!

SO far, we've been relaxing alot this week. As it turned cold we relaxed by the fire alot, this is my brother in law Tony and a friend Nathan.

Our caravan is a 5 birth, it has 3 bunks for the kids down one end.

Our bedroom is down the other end.

We have heaps of storage under our bed, as well as cupboards for our clothes, We have a fridge and mini freezer as well as a gas cooktop, and an outdoor BBQ, as you can see from the photo, we have an indoor table. (we have an outdoor bathroom, complete with lil tents for privacy) All squished up in 21 feet! Although we do have an annex, we are yet to set it up.
We are off to Helensvale caravan park next week, where the comforts of home will be gone, we'll definitely be living basically, which will be our theme for the next year.

  

Tim has been BBQing everyday, I think he will be sick of it very soon! Good job babe.

We have brought Jazz, our endearing pain in the rear end dog friend :) So far, she has been very well behaved, apart from scaring Buddy, her doggy cousin. Jazz has a tendency to run away. But so far she has been good. Lets hope she is as good for the rest of our adventures!

That's about it for this week. Hopefully, I'll be able to blog every Sunday, so look out for my posts!
Bye for now :)

Our Travels around Australia

On Tuesday the 9th of October, we officially started our travels around Australia..
Here is the lead up to our adventure:- 

                                                                      For what seemed like forever, I was packing, sorting, throwing things away, and sorting some more.. I officially hate moving! It was a sad thing for me as I had to sort out alot of Josh's possession's, and most were stored for so long {tools, shoes etc} I just had to throw them away. It was time to be practical. I did however find some old photos that made me cry..I would like to share them with on here, as this is our family blog, and I want to remember when and where I found these shots.. I can't believe my babies are so grown up now!